Introduction.
The phrase: ‘I am nothing’ is sometimes heard as a throw-away remark: light-heartedly to a friend, or indignantly after having been slighted. Clearly, context is important. For example, you would hardly use it in a CV, or say it at a job interview in the commercial world! It has a special significance when used by persons, not necessarily in religious life, who are actively striving for Christian Perfection. Then, ‘I am nothing’ is used in the context, ‘I am nothing, God is everything’. That significance is examined in this paper, in which detailed reference is made to the life of Mary Magdalene.

The Christian, in the face of his sinfulness, often says to God in Prayer: “Am I really and truly striving to be as nothing, or could I do better?” Of course, he knows the answer before he asks the question; but Our Father in Heaven loves him for so doing! Recently, a well-meaning friend upbraided me, for applying the phrase to myself. Had I been looking for plaudits to accompany a mock humility, I would have been getting my just desserts, but I was not! My ‘telling-off’ finished with the question: “If you are nothing, why did Christ die on the Cross for you?” I’m sure my friend realised that it was with very deep humility that I held my peace. For Christ died on the Cross out of Love for me, and for my friend, not for what we are; but for what He wants us to be: ‘as nothing’. “Until you become as nothing, God can do nothing with you” (St Augustine).

My friend, who had been quite shocked by the notion of someone being thought of as ‘nothing’, appeared equally blinkered about ‘striving toward Christian Perfection’. “I keep the Commandments of God, and of the Church: I live a good life, and do no harm to anyone”. How careful we must be in replying to such ‘oft heard’ remarks: was this a cry of genuine disinterest, or of interest veiled by disinterest. I did not want my friend to go away sad, like the rich young man of the Bible, so I innocently asked when was the last time that he did some good gratuitously for anyone! “You fool, this night do they require thy soul of thee”. (Lk.12:20) After death the soul cannot merit, cannot receive Our Divine Saviour in Holy Communion; neither can it suffer anything for Him. Yet ‘merit’ is the currency of Christian Perfection. Are these not reasons enough to strive toward Christian Perfection, here and now, and to take the uncompromising message of Jesus to heart, “Be not solicitous for your life what you shall eat; nor for your body what you shall put on”? (Lk.12:22)

To seek Christian Perfection is to seek to ‘know Him more clearly, love Him more dearly, and follow Him more nearly’. “To know Him: we must do something about Him: think, study, and learn about Him, pray to Him” (1) “We must search as one who expects to find, and so find as one who would search further” (St Augustine). The initiative, and the help, to seek Him, is a gift from God, Himself; but even when He reveals Himself, He still remains mysterious (1,bis.).

The invitation is open to all: both laity and religious. However, those who are not theologians have to proceed with caution. For ‘the wheel can be very easily be re-invented’: sometimes a ‘misshapen one; by overlooking fundamental truths of our Faith, and Holy mother Church: our treasury of those truths. Truths laid out so simply in the old ‘penny’ catechism. There, we learned that man and woman are the jewels in the crown of God’s creation, and that it is our Christian duty, as His creation, to give glory to Him by conforming with His Will. “He made us to know, love, and serve Him in this life and to be happy with Him forever in the next”. There are no options about this. As our Creator, God has an unquestionable right to our adoration and praise. By giving His life on the Cross, Christ bought us: He ‘redeemed’ us; and He can repair the damage caused by our sinfulness, provided we let Him do this by striving to ‘become as nothing’.

Although our efforts are contingent on our love of God: with no meaning outside of this; it is a non sequitur, at the human level, that if we do not appear actively to seek to ‘become as nothing’, or pursue ‘Christian Perfection’, then we do not love God. This is known only to God. So what is the difference between these terms? ‘Becoming as nothing’ is a framework, the interstices of which are filled by ‘striving for Christian Perfection’. A good illustration is the home-made tapestry. First, we design a canvas to form the framework; then, we do the needlework to build up the picture in wool: often making small changes in the design as we proceed. The beginner uses a fairly plain design, and the ‘castellation’ of borders within the picture stands out; but an experienced needle-worker uses such detail, that from a distance, it is impossible to tell the difference between the tapestry and an artist’s painting. So it is with ‘becoming as nothing’: continued docility to the Holy Spirit makes our ‘nothingness’ more of a reality. This paper is about that 'nothingness'; but does not go beyond the initial stage which spiritual writers refer to as ‘Purgation’.

A digression on the meaning of ‘nothing’.
Anyone reading about Christian Perfection, or being advised by their spiritual director, knows of this requirement to ‘become as nothing’: Without God we can do nothing (Jn.15:5): let alone ‘become nothing’; and God is repeatedly inviting us – ‘warts and all’ - to become more-and-more ‘as nothing’: did we but recognise this; by involvement in His work through the Beatitudes.

What does the statement: ‘I am nothing’, mean? How can ‘I’ be ‘nothing’, or even ‘become’ nothing, when I know that ‘I’ am something? The well-known philosopher of the last century, C.E.M.Joad, would have answered, “Well, it depends what you mean by ‘I’ and what you mean by ‘nothing’”. Exactly! We are using words familiar in our material world, in an attempt to ‘come to terms with’ ineffable spiritual concepts; and there is no way that we will be able to ‘dot ‘i’s’ and cross ‘t’s’ convincingly. Furthermore, there may be inconsistencies, arising from different ways of looking at the ‘evidence’ for these concepts: each one, perhaps, convincing up to a point! When this happens we are duty bound to seek guidance from Holy Mother Church. Yes, we are ‘something’, a very complex ‘something’, a pastiche of things having differing values relative to the ‘absolute’. Even then there are problems because our concept of the ‘absolute’ is a projection, without limit, into the unknown. For example: how can we comprehend perfect ‘peace’, when the ‘peace of God surpasses all understanding’ (Phil.4:7)? It is helpful to keep in mind that since God is ‘everything’; everything else is ‘as nothing’, though not necessarily ‘nothing’.

So we return to the question: ‘How can ‘I’ be ‘nothing’? There is a difference between seeking to become ‘nothing’, and seeking to become ‘as nothing’. God could invite us to become ‘nothing’ ‘all at once’, by His direct intervention: as He did with Mary Magdalene. More often than not, all that He asks of us is that we are docile to the movement of the Holy Spirit: each one of us will then have a different level of ‘as nothingness’, known only to God. Our aim in life should be that this level continually decreases. We avoid any tautological in-exactitude by positing that God fills up the emptiness, the reward of our docility, with the Gift of His Love. Expressed slightly differently: the various ‘trials’ – Beatitudes, work, suffering, penance - conform an increasing part of our ‘being’ with His Will; while the various ‘consolations’ - Holy Mass, Sacraments, Prayer, Divine Office – transform an increasing part of our ‘being’ in Him, since it is the beginning of our Heaven in Faith. Once this ‘nothingness’ is savoured, we find, “They that eat me shall yet hunger: and they that drink me shall yet thirst.” (Ecclus.24:29) “This hunger, this thirst, this unceasing desire, is the whole interior life of Mary Magdalene.”(2).

If, when seeking to ‘become as nothing’, our aim is to annihilate the whole or any part of the ‘self’; then this aim is sinful. The ‘self’ is God-given, and it is not ‘giving glory to God’ to advocate destroying part of the most wonderful of all His works! It is the activity of the ‘self’ which the Holy Spirit may be inviting us to re-align. The foregoing is in accord with St Augustine’s remark that when we have become as ‘nothing’, He can do something with us according to His Will. It makes sense of the statements that we love God with His own Love; and that our love for God, along with His Love for us, makes us equal in all but essence.

‘Why’ and ‘How’ do we seek to become as nothing?
At Baptism, we become temples of the Holy Spirit, and adopted sons of God. We are nothing and God fills the ‘emptiness’. It is a fact of life that most Christians soon lose their Baptismal innocence and, in one way or another, succumb to the temptations of the devil, the world, and the flesh. Our Father in Heaven allows this to happen, yet, because of His great Love for His creation, He sent His only begotten Son to unlock the doors of Life, that Heaven would be open to all; and that those who freely desired to do so, might strive toward Christian Perfection; might begin the journey back to that Baptismal innocence; the food for the journey being: Prayer, Holy Mother Church, and the Sacraments. Everyone, yes everyone, is afforded this opportunity. “Open the gate for Me. If thou wilt heed My calling, I will abide with thee.” (q.v., Apoc.3:20) (3); and Jesus always comes bearing Gifts. We have a free choice: ignore the call; or choose to answer it: ‘how, where, when, why, as we will; but in His way. Since we can do nothing without Him, ‘His Way’ is revealed to each one of us when we are docile to the Holy Spirit: “Whosoever are led by the spirit of God, they are the sons of God.” (Rom.8:14) The ‘how’, and the ‘why’, for us here and now, are exemplified by ‘The Sinner’ of the New Testament: Mary Magdalene.

The parable of ‘The Sinner’ washing and wiping the feet of Jesus at the house of Simon, the Pharisee, (Lk.7:36-50) is too well known to need repeating here. Can we, do we, apply its many facets to our own lives? To begin with: ‘how’ long had she been thinking about giving up her livelihood; and ‘why’? Then: ‘why’ seek Jesus out, when He is dining with Simon and his friends? Jesus’ ‘hand’ in this scenario is all too obvious! He had been thinking about ‘The Sinner’ for some time. He wasn’t surprised, or put-out, by her appearance at the meal: in fact, He was waiting for her. Yes, in the same way that He is waiting for each one of us: for as that insatiable longing to ‘become as nothing’ develops, the more we realise that the only palliative is to kneel at the feet of Our Divine Master.

Jesus sorely wounded the heart of Mary Magdalene long before the meal with Simon was to take place: sorely wounded her heart with arrows of Love. Wounds so deep, that she knew her present life-style was over; so deep, that she had to visit the only Physician who could cure her; and so deep that she would be stamped for life with these wounds of Love. Can you imagine her anguish, her growing sorrow, her tears? Do you think Jesus, just left her to suffer? No! Jesus was with her in spirit: despite her cries of ‘depart from me I am a sinner’ (e.g., Lk.5:8), comforting her, loving her; and in loving her, forgiving her sinfulness and taking her to Himself as an equal partner in Love. Are we so different from Mary Magdalene in our response to His overtures? Isn’t that just how it is with us in the Sacrament of Reconciliation? We ‘see’ Jesus looking at us from the Cross with eyes brimming over with Love and we experience His ‘peace’ flowing o’er us like a river in full flood: that “peace which surpasses all understanding” (Phil.4:7).

Although it is an inspiring parable; seeking to emulate Mary Magdalene, may not be the way forward for any of us. To suggest this, surely is to miss the whole point of the parable; as we end up thinking that we can second-guess Jesus. As with Mary in the Garden (Jn.20:16), Jesus may disguise Himself so that we do not recognise Him, until He calls us by name. Shouldn’t our response then be that of Mary? So why do we keep Him ‘waiting at the gate’ while He continues to wound us with arrows of Love? Can we afford not to open the gate to the Physician of life, in Holy Communion, other Sacraments, and Prayer? Did He not ‘empty Himself’ and become like us in all but sin, that He could make us more like Him? His dearest wish is for us to open the gate, invite Him in to our souls, so that we might wound His Most Sacred Heart with our arrows of Love. Yes, ‘Love’, for we can only love Him with His Love! That is why we should continue the quest to ‘become as nothing’: or even begin that quest; by listening for His ‘knock’ and answering it as He Wills. In this way, the self-centeredness in our souls is progressively replaced, by God-centeredness: His Love. So that when we say that we love God: which is very true; what we really mean is that, ‘God is loving Himself with His Love.

Mary Magdalene went to the house of Simon to find Jesus, so as to continue with her Act of Reconciliation. She wanted to do this, and she was emboldened by His Love. Even so, do not let us overlook her courage in entering a room full of affronted guests, who knew her only as a sinful woman. Her only thought was Jesus and, seeking Him out, she collapsed at His feet. She was already in tears, as she had been since the day her heart had been wounded by His Love. Jesus was waiting for her; Love, like a magnet, drew her to Him. Silently, uncontrollably, she poured her heart out to Him, as she washed His feet with her tears, and dried them with her hair. Humility, and unfettered love, knew no bounds in this public confession of her nothingness. Yet, it was in that ‘nothingness’ that her strength lay (2Cor.12:10) for Jesus was able to take her to Himself as an equal partner in Love. Our ordeal in beginning Satisfaction for the Sacrament of Reconciliation is a very modest affair when compared with that of Mary Magdalene; and, indeed, supposing we had been sinners living in the early years of Holy Mother Church.

Kissing the feet of Jesus in Simon’s house was not the completion of Mary Magdalene’s Act of Reconciliation. Her sorrow, her interior penance, was with her for the rest of her life. From then on, that sorrow coloured her every action, thought, and prayer – without limit. For example: Sacred Scripture records that she stood at the foot of the Cross; artists depict her, kissing the feet of Our Saviour, as a loose woman in white with head uncovered in shame. She had had to climb her Calvary out of love. So it is with each one of us. Making the Satisfaction given in the Sacrament of Reconciliation is not the end of our penance. Our interior penance is lifelong: the Sacrament is received in love and shame at the foot of the Cross, and it consecrates us to live in love and shame at the foot of the Cross for the rest of our lives. This is the reality, this is the ‘why’, of seeking to ‘become as nothing’.

Do we really want to suffer as Mary Magdalene suffered? It is not human nature to seek suffering, although everyone experiences some suffering in their lives. Jesus suffers with us, and He invites us to offer our suffering to God through Him: to share His Cross. “I cannot say that I love suffering in itself, but I love it because it conforms me to Him” (4). How many beloved souls could endure, as well as joyfully seek, the trauma and pain of ‘becoming as nothing’; if they did not ‘know’ the Love of the Divine Saviour as they carry His Cross with Him, to the hill of Calvary? Jesus only invites his friends to suffer: to share His Cross! Why should we accept such an invitation? Let Jesus tell us, Himself: “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one cometh to the Father, but by Me” (Jn.14:6) and now Simon Peter, “Thou hast the words of eternal life”. (Jn.6:69) Our Blessed Mother, Mary Magdalene, and the Saints, are exemplars of suffering, but no more than that. Jesus will determine the nature of our trials, and will love us as He loved The Sinner, if we accept, and endure these for His sake. Suffering, in one form or another, is unavoidable: either we accept it in this life as part of our on-going quest to ‘become as nothing’ or we suffer in Purgatory.

A First Stage of becoming ‘as nothing’ – God becomes our Friend. [5]
After her conversion, Mary Magdalene joined the group of women who ministered to Jesus. Naturally she learned more about Him and His mission – they were friends. Do we walk, and talk, with Jesus? We should, if we wish to ‘become as nothing’; there is no better way: there is no other way. We can no longer live a conventional life: keeping the Commandments and receiving the Sacraments, so as to enter Heaven; avoiding gross sins, so as to escape hell; praying, as a matter of routine. When two people share a house, they usually speak more often than when they pass in the hallway. Jesus is in our soul, nay God is in our soul; and our soul is our Heaven in Faith: a foretaste of Heaven vouchsafed to us here on earth.(Lk.17:21) Surely, we ought to leave no stone unturned, to live permanently in our Heaven on earth; rather than just being an occasional visitor.

We are right to be circumspect about a ‘friendship’ with Jesus. He is God, whom we adore; He is man, whose body and blood we receive. Our friendship, like any human friendship, is between two souls: the Soul of Christ, united to His Divinity, and our soul. Yet this Friendship is like no other. It is Divine: He is ‘the Way’ to our Heavenly home and Our Father; He is ‘the Truth’ that we seek and now possess; He is ‘the Life that we require in order to live; and He is ‘the Christ’ who envelops us in His Love and longs for our intimate love. The Spirit of Love makes the arrangements: Jesus ‘stands at the gate’ (Apoc.3:20); and we listen for Him, for we know not when He may come (Lk.12:35-38), that we may not be tardy in giving our ‘fiat’. “It is our part to make a beginning, His to bring it to completion” (Jerome). Often, a personal crisis has caused a ‘turning-back’ to God. A relative, or friend, not necessarily a Priest or religious, may be instrumental in showing us that God really cares: “If our love were but more simple, we should take Him at His word. And our lives would be all sunshine in the sweetness of Our Lord.” (Faber)

God has consciously become our Friend: and why not? Jesus is God, and we have been created in the image and likeness of God. As our God, He knows all about us: about our miscreant ways; but as our Friend, He waits for us to tell Him about them. Even “if your sins be as scarlet, they shall be made as white as snow” (Is.1:18). Of course, being human we do not reveal all of ‘the skeletons in the cupboard’: at least not for the time being! Keywords in this Divine Friendship are euphoria and enthusiasm. “There are moments of bewildering bliss, at Holy Communion or in Prayer; moments when it appears to be the one supreme experience of life; moments when one’s whole being is shaken and transfused with love, when the Sacred Heart is no longer merely an object for adoration, but a pulsating thing that beats against our own. There are periods too of tranquillity and steady warmth; and periods of misery and dryness.” (6) Yes, a Friendship of love in which the Spirit of Love showers us with opportunities to ‘become as nothing’.

Disillusionment.
One of the strengths of a Friendship of love is, that love equalises: our soul can be on an equal footing with that of Jesus. There is an ineffable intimacy and a desire to share: to share His Cross; to remove all barriers in our docility to the Spirit of Love; to become more like our Friend. For a while the euphoria continues, then we sense the onset of disillusionment, discontent, impatience with the ‘things of God’. It is not that these have changed: we are no longer viewing things through God, but through our own eyes. Ironically, instead of blaming ourselves, we believe that God is sending us more trials. How can our soul be on an equal footing with that of Jesus, when we have not been entirely honest with Him about those skeletons in the cupboard? At present there must be inequality, not equality: because the love of our soul still has a marked degree of self-centredness. Else, how can the initial euphoria of the new-found Friendship wane, if we only have eyes for Jesus. Christ appears to be no longer attracted to the soul and disenchantment has set in! Why should there be a creeping disenchantment: a ‘monotony of Piety’ (Faber), with those things linking us with Jesus: Holy Mass, Prayer, Meditation, … ?

Did Mary Magdalene give up, when she was unable to locate the body of Our Saviour? After all, as far as she knew, her life was in pieces, her Friend of love was dead. When the Saints experienced these difficulties, they did not give up on Prayer, Meditation, etc.: and neither must we. We must talk the problem over with our Friend: “Prayer is a constant exchange of love” (7). Can we doubt the solidarity of our Friendship with God? He will always do what is best for us. He will reveal the reason for our disenchantment, and the solution: in His own time, and His own way. This is an excellent opportunity to measure our progress: if we are truly ‘becoming as nothing’; we will not complain! We curb our impatience and ‘wait on Him’: any other proposition, would be like the ‘tail wagging the dog’! One of the hardest lessons for the Christian to learn is to ‘wait on God’: yet it serves to develop our humility and patience. As the Psalmist says: “Behold as the eyes of servants are on the hands of their masters, …, so are our eyes unto the Lord our God, until He have mercy on us”. (Ps.122:2) Though they are only servants, their joy lies in simply being in the presence of their Master. Therein, lies our joy also, yet it is tinged with sorrow. Sorrow that we have lost His Friendship through our deceit. Little do we know the ways of God: “God does not take away His Gifts, He adds to them.” (8)

How apt is the parable of ‘the first place at table’, at the wedding feast. (Lk.14:7-11, q.v., Matt.19:30) It is only human to have little sympathy for the guest who had to give up his place; and warm to him whom the host invited “Friend, come up higher”. Have we never gone to the Eucharistic table, ill prepared and lacking humility? ‘In our Friendship with God, have we not taken advantage of the fact that love equalizes, and acted above our station; quite forgetting our striving to ‘become as nothing’; quite forgetting that our new found Friend is God. Have we not attempted to reduce this Divine Friendship to a human level by: setting up ‘bargaining positions’; trying to take ‘possession’ of our Friend, in little things at first; putting Him to the test: ‘If you love me, you will … ; and assuming added self-importance based on His love? How often we protest, “When did I do that, Lord.” (Matt.25:44) Yes, it will be very hard to give up our self-centred love, and our purgation stagnates until we realise that Christ’s love for us is directed solely to ‘give glory to His Father’. He longs for us to be conformed with Him, and transformed in Him, that we, too, might participate in giving glory to Our Father. To do this to the full extent of our present capability, requires that we never give up accepting those opportunities to ‘become as nothing’; freely relinquishing our notions of self-importance which weight us down like a millstone.

Mary Magdalene did not give up ‘being nothing’ when, in her love, she walked to the very foot of the Cross (Jn.19:25). At Calvary she suffered a martyrdom of love: the same Cross on which Jesus was crucified, crucified her in Him, and through Him, such was the depth of her love for Him. Many of the saints were also martyrs of love. If we have the temerity to claim a martyrdom of love; we might have a claim to His Love. In the meantime, have we become so disillusioned, so miserable, so cynical, that we have given up ‘waiting on God’. Why not go back to where we were, and forget about ‘becoming as nothing? While this may be a good idea, considering the catalogue of self-pity, it is beset by one difficulty: “A soul that has once known Christ can never convincingly pass for one that has not known Him” (9). For, the baptized Christian is, and remains, a temple of the Holy Spirit (1Cor.3:16): the Spirit of Love. The soul cannot resist such Love having once known it; and that “love overcomes all obstacles” (Virgil). In deep humility, the soul begs to be forgiven, and to be allowed to serve God, in a Friendship that had never been revoked. The soul is beginning to learn that the ‘created’, in whatever form, must not to be confused with the ‘Creator’.

A Second Stage of becoming ‘as nothing’ – relinquishing everything, including Christ.
All is well! Our soul has confessed everything, and the Friendship of love is now even stronger. Unfortunately, our soul is still liable to slip back into its old ways of trying to manipulate its Friend: to ‘possess’ Jesus in every sense of the word. At present, He makes us His friend, and we make Him our Friend. Our soul must relinquish Jesus. We must give up making Him our Friend in our way, and begin accepting Him as our Friend in His Way. In fact, we must give up doing anything at all in our way. At last we begin to realise the reality of ‘becoming as nothing’. God is not only in everything we do; He is everything we do, for we were clothed in Christ at Baptism that we might do everything in Him, with Him, and through Him.

The next step to ‘become as nothing’ is the most difficult and the most painful, and it follows on from our soul’s profound desire to be allowed to serve God. Although Jesus said, “You are my Friends, … I will not now call you slaves … “ (Jn.15:14,15); the soul wishing to serve God: actively seeking those opportunities to ‘become as nothing’; must first know, and truly embrace, ‘slavery’; must follow the example of Jesus, who “emptied Himself, taking the form of a slave.” (Phil. 2:7). By definition, a slave is one who is the property of, and entirely subject to, another person; a servant completely divested of freedom and personal rights: one who is, or has become, as nothing. Embracing slavery, in its ‘as nothingness’ our soul must realise the enormity of its self-centeredness, possessiveness, ignorance, and sin. In the equality of love, the creature has sought to possess the Creator: to possess Christ, to hold Him as a lover and a Friend. Now, the Holy Spirit is inviting our soul to give up more of its ‘infinitesimal something’ to become even more ‘as nothing’: that the ravaged clothing of Baptism may be further repaired. Our soul must relinquish Christ, as well as everything that is not Christ. Then our soul will know the joy of loving Him with His own Love, in Him, and through Him.

There is one important difference with our slavery. Although we are wholly owned, and entirely subject to God, we retain the gift of free-will. Unless we have truly embraced slavery: when we exercise our free-will as obedience (docility); this could be both a blessing, and a source of danger. We wish to be carried on the shoulders of the Good Shepherd as the sheep that was lost and is found (Lk.15:5,6): but perhaps our humility may get in the way; again, the deep cry from the heart, that God Himself had proffered the hand of friendship: but we ‘blew-it’ with a catalogue of presumption; or yet again, maybe, a deep cry of hurt pride: extravagant humility; has put us beyond the pale. How can God will never look at us seriously again; even though, truth to tell, Christ is more attracted than ever to the soul? The moment of decision is at hand: all of heaven looks-on with baited breath; now is the moment of faith in that Friendship of love: to “cast oneself into the sea” (Matt.14:29) and to abandon oneself to Jesus, to abandon oneself to His Love. For, even as He chides us for our lack of Faith, He is holding out His hand to take hold of us in love (Matt.14:31). Yes, “Surrender is the sweet fruit of love”. (St Augustine).

In the present context, ‘Surrender’ is to give oneself up to some influence or cause. Faced with an irresistible Love, we unhesitatingly give ourselves to our beloved Jesus. We give ourselves up to God and, then, we let God make use of us. “Abandonment is what allows us to surrender to God” (10); because ‘abandonment’ means to give up, or cease to have any further interest in, something: our own ‘self’. Here, we want to place that ‘self’ at the service of God: having annihilated our misuse of ‘self’. ‘Abandonment’ also includes an intention never to take up such-and-such an interest again. In other words, if it is our intention to ‘really and truly’ strive to ‘become as nothing’ in obedience to the Spirit of Love then both our use of ‘I’, and our ‘as nothingness’, must be surrendered to God for use in His service in accordance with His Will.

His Will is directed towards our purification: i.e., conforming us with, and transforming us in, Jesus; by presenting us with opportunities to demonstrate the genuineness of our desire to ‘become as nothing’. Inevitably painful and traumatic, it is joyfully endured and desired, because the reason for the trauma and suffering is accepted, even if not always fully understood: “There shall not enter into (Heaven) any thing defiled … “(Apoc.21:27). Our way of life changes and we see things from a different perspective. Being docile to the Holy Spirit, and living our lives in accordance with the Beatitudes and in harmony with the Evangelical Counsels, our will is made more conformable with the Will of Christ, known through the Gospels. Further docility to the Holy Spirit, then enables us to be transformed in Christ through the Sacraments, Prayer, and Contemplation. St Augustine’s phrase applies here, for we cannot be transformed in Christ until we start to be conformed with Him; because one can only transform ‘like into like’.

Conclusion.
Only God knows the true state of our souls. Yet we know instinctively that there can be only one answer to the rhetorical question posed by the title of this paper: ‘no’. Although the goal: “Be ye therefore perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect” (Matt.5:48) is beyond us in this life; if we are true to our God-given nature, then we only cease striving to attain the unattainable in death.

In that striving we emulate, in spirit, Mary Magdalene who, according to tradition, was driven from her homeland and spent the remainder of her life in the wilderness of France as a hermit seeking to do penance in her great love for Our Divine Saviour. May Lacordaire’s words (11), addressed to her, be the source of our strength:

“He is in your soul and your soul is He”

References.
1. ‘The Mind of Paul VI’, trans. A.Colquhoun, 1964.
2. ‘A Carmelite of the Sacred Heart’, trans. M.E.Arendrup, 1923.
3. Refrain of “Who at My Door is Standing”, Mary B. Slade.
4. Bl. Elizabeth of the Trinity, Letter L317.
5. 'Imitation of Christ', Bk II, Ch. 8.
6. ‘The Friendship of Christ’, R.H.Benson, 1920. p.20. (adapted)
7. Pope John Paul II.
8. Père Gratry, ex (2), p.171.
9. (4) p.28.
10. (3) Letter L129.
11. (3) Footnote 4 to Letter L75.

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